Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Dating One Last Time - Part 3

"Which way are you going?"

"Hey, so what do you wanna do with your life?"
"I really like music, I like telling people about Jesus, and I really think I'm going to travel."
"Hmmm... Me too..."

Are you both going the same direction? Does the mission you feel called to seem to walk right next to theirs? Don't get me wrong, Mr. Derek is polar opposite from me. He is a take-it-as-it-comes, wise introvert while I'm a control-freak, quick-to-talk extrovert. And, technically, Derek and I do not look simialiar to anyone from our dating past, so you could even go as far as saying we aren't really each other's "typical type". But we, by God's grace, work. We both love Jesus, and we both want to see his name known. We both enjoy teaching and music, and neither of us mind picking up and leaving when Jesus tells us to. And we really love and enjoy each other. We are super good friends!

Wanting similar primary things will be fundimental for your relationship. By primary, I mean, do they know, love, and serve Jesus.

1. If your friend has not repented from sin and turned to Jesus, then based on scripture, this is not who you are supposed to be with... right now. Missional dating is not impossible and I've hear stories of good marriages that started missionally, but it really isn't your job to convert "hot stuff" by dating them. I would like to remind you that you are not the Savior, you can't save anyone, nor are you responsible for their salvation. You, as their friend can hang out them, invite them to church, pray with them, and rejoice with them as they progress. Then, maybe you can consider a future together.

This can save a lot of unnecessary heartache. So if you have the expectation that, since you are a Christian, if you date "Shorty" and get them to come to church with you, maybe they then will become a Christian, you have a sour motive and this could lead you somewhere you don't necessarily want to go. This person could building their foundation on you and not Jesus, and if you break up or the first time you let them down, they'll probably stop going to church because you were the only reason they came. Remember, we make horrible gods.

2. If you are a Christian and evidently so your friend is too and you KNOW that you are going to be a missionary in South Africa, and home-boy wants to be a CEO of a multimillion dollar company in downtown New York City, then this is probably isn't going to work out. I say probably, because God can do anything and shorten your missionary years and reunite you on the top floor of the Empire State Building and you get married and on and on.

But that being said, pay attention. Sometimes you just know, "yeah this isn't right." Sometimes your prayers may have to be, "help me see truth because I can't get past the fact that he is so fine!!!" If you know you this isn't right, it doesn't make you better then them and it doesn’t make this person second best, it's just, he's not yours (listen to Not Mine) and that's okay.  It just means ya'll aren't going in the same direction. That is good friendship material, but not good spouse material.
I'd like to pray for you.

Thank you for your design. Thank you for your plan to bring your people unto you and unite them with yourself and with each other. Thank you for friendship. Thank you for marriage. Help your children decern which is appropriate for which relationships. Help us let go of what is not good or right for us, and trust that you will preserve any gift (relationship) that you mean for us to have. In Jesus' name. Amen.

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