Saturday, March 29, 2014

Why I Had to Stop Dating... Reason #4

Emotions can be a tricky thing and when they are untethered, they can encourage getting carried away. When emotions are the filter you are seeing life through, you may not be able to see things for what they really are. Since I can tend to be a very emotional person, dating wasn't a good idea for me in that season. I really needed Jesus to satisfy my soul and teach me to keep a bit in my emotions mouth.

"BUT I LOVE HIM!" - Fear and Immaturity
When you haven't eaten for a long time, you will end up eating just about anything. A long time for some can be years of waiting. For me a long time was about 2 months, then I was parched. When we greatly fear our biological clock, being alone for the rest of our lives, or never experiencing love, we are more susceptible to looking at the first thing we see without a wedding ring and shouting, "THAT'S MINE!"

We can be easily blinded by the emotions that accompanies these desires (sinful or not), which can engulf us and renders us unable to see things with discernment. Community is crucial for this. They can help us see what we cannot at the moment. Rejecting wise counsel and flying solo disqualified me from dating well. Due to my submission to my desperate emotions, I couldn't the person I was in relationship clearly. Looking back it was incredibly obvious we weren't going in the same direction and our relationship wasn't really fruitful. Our facebook status change wasn't necessary and we should have just stayed friends.

The bottom line is: Christian, don't date if you have no intentions on marrying this person.

Enjoy friendship. Embrace community. Think about it, pray about it. It's okay to wait. Just don't be disobedient and fearful in your waiting that you don't do anything!

This is the second most important decision you will make in your life but remember you don't make it alone. By God's grace, he will not bring you to the perfect spouse, but guide you to a repentive, God-fearing best friend! That's worth waiting for.

Whether you are single, dating, or married, can you relate to any of these?
If you are single, ask the Lord to help you be patient and trust in his love for you. Ask him to daily remind you that your satisfaction is in him alone, to mold you into the God fearing person he created you to be, and to help you build strong friendships with those around you that may one day blossom into a marriage.

If you are currently in a relationship, ask God to help you find community that will walk with you through this exciting time. Ask him to empower you by his Spirit to help you keep the wise and tested boundaries placed by him through your leadership. Ask him to remind you that those boundaries are not set to crush all of your fun but helps love you and your significant other well and will lead to great fruitfulness.

If you are married, ask the Lord to purify your heart and remove the burden of insecurities, fear, and works based love. Ask the Lord to pour himself into any part of y'all's foundation that is not built on him and create health and strength in that area. Ask him to help you forgive your spouse and remove any condemnation. Remember that this is his marriage, for his glory and for your joy.

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